1. Lowering The Volume So You Can See Better
Have you ever been jamming to a song, and you turn into a parking lot and need to turn down the volume to help you find a spot?
Turning the volume down definitely does not improve your vision, but psychologically you believe it helps.
2. Pretending To Consider Buying Something That Is Over Priced
When you go shopping, and the price of an item actually shocks you, but you can't leave the store yet because you don't want to look like you can't afford it.
It is even worse when you have already decided not to buy something, but you are still browsing, and a sales associate comes over to you. "Can I help you find anything?" "No, Jessica, prices here are too expensive."
3. Pretending You Are In A Music Video When You Listen To Music With Your Headphones On
You have definitely done this one. You are sitting in the car or on public transportation listening to music when "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton comes on, and you instantly feel like you are starring in your music video.
"Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass, and I'm homebound." You are transported to your own little world where you are a star, and there is always background music to your life.
4. Being Extra Nice To Airport Security To Not Be Suspicious
When you go through airport security and feel like they are looking at you suspiciously, so you act extra friendly to the TSA employees. They never thought you were suspicious, but now they might.
Now you are being pulled out of line for a full-body inspection because what normal person is extra friendly at three in the morning.
5. Taking A Break From The Computer To Check Your Phone
Have you ever been on the computer searching Facebook, and then you take a break and look at Facebook on your phone? Maybe different things will show up on the app rather than the webpage.
You think it is a break from the internet, yet the internet is still in the palm of your hand. So, you are never really taking a step away unless you put your phone and computer away full.
6. Mumbling The Name Part During "Happy Birthday"
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear (inaudible name), happy birthday to you." When you go to someone's birthday gathering, but you only met them a few times, so you forget their name when it comes time to sing them "happy birthday."
Hopefully, your sudden change in volume isn't noticeable to everyone standing around you.
7. Bringing A Book To The Beach And Not Reading It
If you really think you are going to read the book that you threw in your beach bag, you are wrong. You will most likely spend your time tanning, in the water, or on your phone.
Leave the book at home and save space for snacks, water, and extra sunscreen. Those are more important than throwing in a book that will never be touched but will get wet and sandy.
8. Sitting In Your Towel After The Shower For Too Long
You get out of the shower, put on your towel, and sit on your bed. Somehow, an hour goes by and you are still sitting in your towel.
You might be playing on your phone or just staring at the ceiling, and for some reason, the time you sit at your towel goes by faster than standard time.
9. Using Songs To Measure Distance
When you go to the gym or go running outside and you use songs to measure distance. Even when you are driving, you can measure how far something is by measuring the distance.
"How far is your drive to work?" "It's about 5 songs." It makes no sense to other people, but to you, it is clear as day.
10. Feeling Relief When You Come Home To An Empty Hour After Work
It is not that you don't love your family or friends, but sometimes it is nice to have a few moments alone every day. It is nice to be able to get first dibs on the snacks or to pick what you watch on TV.
You might even just sit and enjoy the peace and quiet because you have been surrounded by people at work all day and you just want a moment to yourself.
11. Lying To Your Doctor About Your Alcohol Consumption
"Yeah I only have one or two beers a month, tops." Your doctor knows you're lying, you know you're lying, so what's the point. If you only have one or two drinks a month, it seems rather suspicious.
Be honest with your doctors, and when all else fails, get better at lying. One drink a week sounds more probable than one a month.
12. Accidentally Sending A Screenshot Of The Messages To The Person You Are Talking About
Have you ever texted someone and then screenshotted the conversation to send to someone else? But instead of sending it to another person you send the screenshot back to the person you were originally texting.
There is no way to pretend like you weren't going to start talking about that person behind their back. It is extremely awkward and you should just own up to it at that point.
13. Having A Pile Of Shirts And Only Wearing The Top 5
You have probably gotten into this habit of having a pile of shirts, and you always pick the five or six shirts from the top, wash them, and then put the same shirts on top.
You continue this cycle until you buy some new shirts, or the five top shirts get too worn or ratty.
14. Pretending To Be Happy When Recieving Cards Without Cash Inside
As you get older, instead of wanting actual gifts for your birthday or holidays, people usually want cash. As Cuba Gooding Jr. would say, "show me the money!" Then you get a card and open it hoping for cash, but that card is empty and you still have to act grateful.
It is the most disappointing feeling, but you don't want to seem bratty or rude. Also, what do people think you are going to do with a card? Yes, it is nice and sentimental, but after reading it, then what?
15. Thinking Of A Great Comeback Hours After The Insult
Have you ever been roasted by someone and you don't have a comeback on the spot, but a few hours later you finally come up with something good to say? It happens to the best of us, and you are just hoping you get a chance to redeem yourself.
You might sit there for hours thinking about how good this comeback would have been if you had just thought of it on the spot. Now you have to carry that thought around that you could have said something, but it didn't happen.
16. Buying Fresh Produce And Never Eating It
This is too real! You go to the grocery intending to make food for the rest of the week, so you buy a bunch of fresh fruits and vegetables, then you get too lazy to cook, and it sits in the fridge until they go bad.
Now you wasted money and you don't have any food to cook because all of it has gone bad by the time you got around to actually cooking a week later. Yet, whenever you go to the store you repeat this process even though you know you won't cook them.
17. Waiting To Leave When Someone Sits Down Next To You
The most uncomfortable thing is when you are about to get up, and then someone sits next to you, and now you feel like it would hurt their feelings if you left now.
You don't even know the person that sat next to you, but you feel like it would be offending them if you needed to leave. How long have you sat next to someone in a situation like this?
18. Writing An Angry Email And Never Sending It
Picture this: You go to work, and you and a coworker got into an argument, so when you sit down at your computer and write a lengthy angry email. After you are done writing it, you never send it. You might have spent a lot of time writing it, but in the end, it is not worth sending it.
The key to this is making sure you delete the email. You don't want to get stuck in a situation where you accidentally send it and then have to deal with the repercussions.
19. Calling Someone Buddy When You Forget Their Name
So you go out with a group of friends, and your friend brings someone new into the group. You could've sworn that they introduced themselves, but their names have completely slipped your mind.
The rest of the night you find yourself calling the person by a nickname because you cannot remember their name.
20. Taking Out Your Phone To Do Something Important And Getting Distracted By Social Media
Have you ever opened your phone to check the weather, and twenty minutes later, you have fallen down a rabbit hole on Instagram, and you can't remember why you went on your phone in the first place.
Now you are spending time trying to remember why you were on your phone in the first place, and after a while, you get distracted by something else again.
21. Rehearsing Conversations That Won't Happen
This is something that happens to everyone. You have a full conversation in your head, but it never ends up happening because you are too nervous about bringing up the subject.
It makes you annoyed because, in your head, the conversation went so well, but then you realize it probably won't go as well in real life.
22. Pretending To Be A Pro Athlete At The Gym
When you go to the gym, and you have the Rocky theme song playing in your head while you use the Stairmaster. You are out of breath after a few minutes, but you still think you are a professional gym rat.
It could be your first time to the gym in years, and you still think this is the beginning of your training montage to get Olympic ready.
23. Eavesdropping On Conversations and Then Joining In
We are all guilty of eavesdropping on other people's conversations. But have you ever been listening, and then you get dragged into the conversation?
It is so uncomfortable because you are trying to act like you have no idea what is going on, but you have been listening to the whole conversation for the past few minutes.
24. Looking At Other Items When Someone Is In Front Of What You Actually Want At The Grocery Store
"This can of olives is super interesting, let me stare at it for a few more minutes until that person moves out of my way because I don't actually want olives."
It would be ok to ask the person if you can grab the thing that they are standing in front of, but that would be so much more difficult.
25. Getting Flustered When Someone Says "Bless You"
*Sneezes* "Bless you." "You're welcome...I mean, thank you." When you get embarrassed that you said the wrong thing because you were thrown off guard by someone saying bless you.
For the rest of the day, you are thinking about that awkward encounter, and you think the other person is thinking about it too. In reality, they probably forgot about it a few minutes later.