This article was originally published on Kueez
Clever Man Stupidly Mistaken For Scary Man
It seems paranoia has literally reached new heights (yes, the flying pun was intended!). Instead of giving this Ivy League economist, who likes to relax when he’s thousands of feet up in the air by writing differential equations, the benefit of the doubt, she assumed he was a bad guy instead. Maybe a terrorist? What exactly were her 'security' concerns? It seems like this is an unhappy mixture of prejudice, intolerance, and, of course stupidity.
Maybe she relaxes by reciting letters of the alphabet in the correct order or just availing herself of the airline’s hospitality. We’ll never know. Let’s be kind. Maybe it was her first flight?
Watch Out, the Sun Snatchers Are Here
Yup. This actually happened. The US town of Woodland, North Carolina, was worried and mistrustful of plans to build a solar farm close to the town. Residents were concerned the farm would devalue their properties. The real humdinger came when one resident, and it really was just one resident, feared that the panels would suck up all the energy from the sun, and no one would want to live or invest in the town.
All we’re saying is that some people think that solar panels are ugly eyesores. To others, they're a badge of honor representing their commitment to clean energy. Then to others, like in this instance, they're a potential cause for the end of times. Go figure.
Why So Smooth?!
This surely has to be a joke? We've checked the date this was posted, and nope, it’s not April Fool’s Day. It really is someone who thinks a slide down the freeway is a fun way to spend their time and endanger lives. Maybe the owner of this vehicle lives somewhere where they’ve never had to drive on icy roads before and just wants to know how it feels. Who knows?
We’re not going to waste any valuable brain oxygen trying to figure out the thinking here. So let’s just leave it at saying that there really are all kinds of levels of stupid, right?
This Person Has Egg On Their Face
Here’s someone who thinks the unofficial rule of eating fruit and vegetables unpeeled can increase their nutrient intake can be transposed to err…eggs. Of course, we all need our fiber, minerals, vitamins, and antioxidants, but seriously? Since when was an egg a plant-based product? The last time we checked, eggs came out of the same body area that everything else a hen excretes from. So we’re really hoping this person washed the eggshell first.
After too much time spent wondering how this poor soul digested the entire eggshell, we’ve decided to add egg peeling to our list of essential life skills to learn by age 10.
Are You Serious?
The internet is littered with hilarious text exchanges. From put-downs from ex-girlfriends and boyfriends to drunken texts sent at 3 am to our bosses. Unfortunately, this exchange is also a great example of how some people (aka conspiracy theorists) are super paranoid about government agencies, science, and NASA in particular. This person seems to question the shape of our planet and presumably all of the other planets in our solar system.
Maybe they missed a few science lessons in school. Didn't they get the memo that the earth is round that most of us have known since the ancient Greeks? It’s a mystery.
You Don’t Have To Be Drunk To Be Stupid
Here’s a lovely, snowy example of how man is often defeated by nature. Why? Because this Kentucky driver decided to save some time by destroying this 9-foot snowman that he and his fiancee built in his front yard. Cody Lutz even posted his snowman up on Facebook, calling him “Frosty.” Somewhere down the line, someone gave sweet old “Frosty” the thumbs down. Cody duly got in his truck and tried to mow him over.
Somehow between building the snowman and deciding to trash it, Cody forgot it was built on a tree stump, leaving “Frosty” still standing. He later posted "Life is hard, but it's much harder when you're stupid" on Facebook.
This Takes The Biscuit!
If we're honest, we’ve all done it: had a few drinks too many and had our judgments impaired. Texting our exes? Ordering excessive amounts of junk food?... Eating a coaster? So we’re going easy on whoever this hungry Airbnb guest was who bit into a cork coaster thinking it was a delicious cookie. We’re sure they got a surprise when they realized they’d bitten off more than they could chew.
Maybe it wasn’t a booze-related error and more a weed-related one? We have heard that people who smoke it can get quite hungry. Does anyone out there care to comment?
And The Job Applications Came Flying In
It’s common knowledge that many job applicants stretch the truth on their resumes without batting an eyelid. But, unfortunately, it’s also the case that many employers expect a lot in return for very little. Here’s an example of what may turn out to be a bit of both. In other words, when someone up high wants to recruit someone with Swift experience but doesn’t bother to fully brief the person doing the recruiting.
It’d be interesting to find out how many people applied for this job that asks for the impossible. Perhaps this was a secret test to see who knew how long Swift had been around? Maybe they planned on weeding out applicants claiming to have 8+ years of experience?
Why DIY Inking Is Never a Good Idea
Millions of people around the world have tattoos. We’ve all seen examples of those that have gone spectacularly wrong. Usually, these fall into the misspelling or bad drawing categories. Here, however, is a fabulous example of a home tattooing disaster. Whoever this person is, she clearly didn’t use everyone’s best friend Google to look up what a pentagram actually looks like before inking herself with the Star of David instead of a pentagram.
It’s also evident she has no clue what the Star of David is either, judging by that eloquent set of emojis she’s sent her friend, who's clearly several steps ahead of our home tattooist!
A GrAMmar Lesson For Us All
We love seeing examples of people who think they know more than they really do. We also love seeing what happens when they decide to put their “knowledge” to good use by correcting others, only to fall flat on their face. Here’s a perfect illustration of just that - someone who somehow missed the lesson at school where the class learned about verbs and that “am” is the “I” form of the word “be.”
So, just for them, it’s 'let’s not murder the English language time'! So here goes: It’s not I be stupid, but I am stupid, or if you want to contract that, I’m stupid. Geddit?!
A Sense of Perspective Might Help, Get It?
Seriously, we spit our coffee out when we saw this; we were laughing so hard. Here’s someone asking for the kindness we suspect they're just not going to receive. The thing is, you don’t have to be a professional photographer to understand the basic concept of taking someone’s picture and how that works. We’re not even going to try to explain here because, well, life’s too short, and we need more caffeine.
Instead, we’re going to imagine the kind of replies the poor poster received instead and the kind of comments we’ll read below. Maybe people are just nicer than we are?
When Taking No For An Answer Doesn’t Work
This person is evidently used to getting their own way and just loves to throw things around when that doesn’t happen. Whoever this buyer is, they’re definitely keen on treating themselves to a bargain new TV and won’t stop until they have what they want. We suppose it's possible they don’t understand the etymology of the word SOLD, but we think it’s just that they’re plain old stupid.
Either that or this person is a literal thinker. But, even if that’s the case, this TV seller still had to give it a couple of goes before the message finally sunk in!
Why You Should Never Skip Biology Lessons at School
Oh boy. Or maybe, Oh girl. Does someone actually believe that sperm, or 'sperms' as they like to call it here, go to sleep at night? Maybe the person who posted this extraordinary question without realizing quite what they were asking didn’t attend sex education classes at school. Either that or their parents were a little light on detail when it was time to talk about the birds and bees.
We’re hoping that whoever replied to this poor person put them straight about how “sperms” work and that nature doesn’t care if it’s day or night where conception is concerned.
When It Looks Like A Bird
We all kid ourselves about all sorts of things - and here’s a case of wishful thinking we just love. This hungry person genuinely seems to believe that birds aren’t animals. Maybe it’s a common misconception. Whatever. Yet here they are, having apparently rationalized the impossible. Let’s be clear: birds are part of the Animalia kingdom. That makes them…animals! Birds are not plants. Nope. Not ever. Not even if you wish they were.
So, if you’re a vegetarian and super hungry and just want to sink your teeth into something meaty, you’re out of luck. This chicken is out of bounds.
Where There’s a Rainbow, There’s a Conspiracy Theorist!
You don’t need to be a meteorologist or any kind of scientist to know that er…rainbows don’t come courtesy of the US government, or indeed any other government for that matter. Here’s a simple explanation for this angry person: they happen when sunlight reflects off the water in the air. Not chemicals. Nope. That’s why we sometimes have arched rainbows when or after it’s rained...unless the US government makes that happen too?
Here's another fun fact for the aggressive and clearly confused person posting here. Rainbows became the symbol of the LGBTQ+ community decades ago. The US government didn’t make that happen either.
This Is Nuts!
Here’s another lovely example of how some people really haven’t got to grips with the whole animal/reptile/vegetable/mammal thing. The last time we checked, dolphins were mammals, and those little furry creatures we see in our backyards are mammals too. Seriously, they really are. So, one more time, folks: Squirrels are mammals. Or, to be precise, they’re actually rodents, which some people hunt, and as gross as it sounds, some people eat them too.
Maybe this person is the same one who thinks that chickens aren’t animals. Who knew there was even such a thing as a furry reptile? Answers on a postcard, please.
This Poor Kid
It’s fair to say that we sometimes find ourselves wondering how some people manage to get out of bed in the mornings or tie their own shoelaces without thinking about it. If this post is actually for real (we're really hoping someone has posted this as some sort of joke), we’re worried for this unborn kid. We really are. Where is their common sense? And if this is a genuine concern, how has she waited five months to ask this question?
We know not everyone chooses to shower every day. Water’s a valuable commodity after all, but 5 months? We’re guessing no one likes to sit too close to this lady.
When Big Pharma Wins
It is hard to know where to start with this one. Whichever political camp you’re in, we think that Bernie Sanders makes a valid point that the price of this life-saving drug is high. Not only that, but for some people, it’s prohibitively so. Period. Maybe the person responding to him actually doesn’t know what insulin is? But if that’s the case, we wonder what he thinks it might be?
Whoever the person responding to Bernie Sanders is, we would advise thinking a little harder or even turning to Google to look up a word before their fingertips hit their keyboard.
Breaking News: UK Isn't Pulling Up Anchor To Float Into the Atlantic
Yes, he really did say this. Here’s proof that not all politicians have the brain cells or language skills to go with their lofty position. It's scary to think people like this represent the great voting public. However, in the interest of fairness, let’s have some context here. The guy, David Jones, a Brexit minister, was asked if the UK was willing to make a gesture of friendship to the EU before Brexit negotiations began.
His actual reply? “I think we’ve made it absolutely clear that whilst Britain will be withdrawing from the European Union, we will not be, clearly, withdrawing from Europe either geographically or otherwise,” So that’s all clear then.
HilAAArious!
Let’s be kind here. These guys work really hard to keep us on the roads safely. We’re all guilty of being forgetful or distracted every now and again. Maybe this AAA worker was just having a bad morning, or his blood sugar was kind of low. We guess we will never know. But, we do, however, hope the owner of the vehicle that needed his keys rescued was understanding. After all, they of all people know how easy a mistake this is to make!
We think it’s important to be kind, AAAcepating, and an all-around decent human being. Maybe they spent the morning swapping stories of the last time they both locked their keys in their cars?
What Happens When A Town Makes A Rash Decision
Here is a timely topic to discuss. Vaccines. We’re laughing hard here because we can’t wait for the debate and outrage to start. Once upon a time, there was a Dutch fishing village called Urk with a measles outbreak. While the headline to this story is somewhat misleading, it's the case that some inhabitants didn’t vaccinate their kids for religious reasons that have nothing to do with the medicine or procedure.
The last time we checked, we couldn't find anywhere in the Bible that forbade vaccinations. In fact, we're pretty sure plenty of Christians have been vaccinated at some point in their lives. But, each to their own.
Positively Stupid
Maybe this person tested negative in the intelligence stakes too? Where is it written down that licking toilet seats is a good idea, even for a TikTok challenge? Apparently, this is, or was, actually a trend for a while back in 2020 at the official start of the pandemic. Influencer Larz took up the challenge and subsequently tweeted a photo of himself in bed with Covid a few days later.
We’re pretty skeptical about these two events being related. Something tells us it’s more likely good old Larz caught the virus elsewhere. There’s probably a moral to this tale...but we’re struggling to find it...
Stop Dicking Around
And here’s another fine example of someone who missed science class once too often and didn’t work out that when you freeze water, it turns to ice. The result when you put it somewhere warm? Wow. It melts. Who knew? As if by magic, this person who froze their water bottle was treated to a big old penis-shaped ice block, as their bottle of solid ice melted. Lucky old them.
We hope whoever saw this confused person’s post sat them down, looked them in the eye, and gently explained a few elementary science facts to them. No big things entering small holes…
Now That’s Just Plain Greedy!
When one shopping basket simply isn’t enough, you just have to grab the entire stack. This is especially so if you’re planning on doing a mega shop that day and the store has run out of trolleys. Here’s a lady or gentleman browsing the fruit and vegetable aisles. Either they helped themselves to the store’s entire stock of shopping baskets seemingly without any embarrassment whatsoever, or there’s something else going on here.
We’re going with the latter. Perhaps this shopper couldn’t get one basket out because they were stuck together? Or they were after a new set of wheels, so they didn’t have to carry their shopping?
Hang In There!
"Just sitting here.....eating popcorn....cell phone in hand with 9-1-1....already punched in..." Apart from wondering exactly why this person is performing this DIY circus trick, we’re also curious about how he came to have this many ladders? We count five, yet somehow none of them are quite tall enough for him to do whatever it is he’s doing. Is he locked out and can’t get in via a more conventional method? Is he installing a new window there? Is he just a terribly bad burglar?
We’d love to know if the person who sent this in called 911. But that’s where our involvement in this story ends. We’re going to hand this over to you guys instead.
Thaw That Coming
Who in their right mind would ever think that parking on a frozen lake when the weather has just become warmer is a good idea? Evidently, the drivers of all these cars are slowly sinking the more the sun shines and melts the ice. Unfortunately, the trouble with human nature is that when someone leads, there will always be others that follow- even when it’s a terrible idea. How would you go about salvaging these sinking vehicles?
We just wish that whoever took this photo stuck around so we could find out what happened next. We wonder if wherever this happened, there's now a lake with a dozen cars at its bottom.
An Inflammatory Tale
So here’s a lady who's potentially on one of the last breaks from work she’ll ever have. She’s probably just popped out for a quick smoke while her boss’s back is turned. We’re guessing that either she didn’t read the great big sign stuck on the front of this AmeriGas propane exchange and refill tank, or she doesn’t know what propane is. Or that it can kill her when someone smokes near it.
Let's just hope someone had the emergency service number we can see in the poster ready to go in case this propane ignited. It's true what they say; smoking kills!
Where's The Need?
Like someone in a comment under this pic, we would also like to believe that it says "ninjas" behind those grey boxes. Those pesky ninjas stealing condoms and breaking machines! But, what we find difficult to understand is why someone felt the need to break into a free condom machine and help themselves? There's literally no need. Who would run to their nearest medical center in a blind panic to get some emergency condoms and break a free condom dispenser in the process?
Maybe it was a dare? Or perhaps the machine wasn't working, and the vandal couldn't be bothered to drive to the next clinic? Maybe the guy in question doesn't know his own strength? The mind boggles.
Penny For Your Thoughts
We shouldn’t laugh, we really shouldn’t, but we just can’t help ourselves with this fine example of not thinking before acting. So here is why you should never ever assume that when someone posts something on the internet, it’s a great idea to just go right ahead and copy them. Not only that, but copy them and then blame them when you set your house on fire. This is a classic.
The best part isn’t even what happened when this person put a penny in their microwave, but that they think it’s okay to blame someone else for their own stupidity...
The World Revolves Around the Sun, NOT America
We know how important 4th July is to American citizens. People celebrate, they hang flags, it’s a holiday, yay! But, here’s some breaking news for the person who asked this question: elsewhere, the world just keeps right on turning: around the sun. Of course, it’s true that expat-Americans all around the world still wave flags and celebrate US culture on that day, so maybe that’s what this person meant. Let’s hope it is.
While whoever asked this question is clear about their own country’s history, they’re a little hazy on other big moments in history, such as the October Revolution, aka Red October.
The Dog Owner Who’s Probably Been Hounded Out of Town
There’s nothing quite like posting an animal potentially in danger to get people’s outrage levels sky-high. This photo fits that category nicely. Whatever possessed this dog owner to think it was wise to put their dog in the back of their truck without securing them in place and then head out on the interstate to drive 80mph? Why didn’t this dog owner didn’t just put their dog inside the truck with them?
Other than sheer thoughtlessness or cruelty, we can only surmise this dog has terrible wind. Joking aside, there’s just no excuse whatsoever, so we hope this person was pulled over.
Just Like Spaghetti Grows On Trees
….apparently, corn dogs are grown in the wild! Who knew? We had no idea that this delicious sausage on a stick covered in batter grew in nature and that you could pick it and just pop some mustard on it. Maybe this person is also one of those people who believe spaghetti also grows on trees? Just asking for a friend. Hopefully, this photo is just someone’s idea of a joke.
In which case, hopefully, the good news is that they didn’t really eat this cattail smeared in mustard (yes! It’s a cattail!), and subsequently wonder why they got a stomach ache or worse.
When Technology and Brains Don’t Align
Amazon sells all kinds of stuff, but one thing they can’t buy is brains or, at a push, even a little bit of common sense. That said, here’s a clue as to the answer to the question pictured here: NO. The mouse pad is not Windows 10 compatible. It’s not anything compatible. It’s a mat. Not a mat made of mice, but a mat you put your computer mouse on to make navigation easier.
In all fairness, maybe the person asking this thought it was one of those more hi-tech pads on which you charge your wireless mouse? We guess we’ll never know, right?
All Kinds of Stupid
There are spelling errors, we understand, then there’s this error. It’s in its own special category; we are just a little bit stuck on what we should call it without being too rude? However, our particular contempt is reserved not for this person’s inability to spell check but for their out-and-out bigotry and lack of even basic historical and geographical awareness. Just so we’re clear here: guys, it is 2022!
We could be wrong, of course. Maybe, there actually really is someone out there called Nate of America who was born in India? Is anyone willing to check for us? Nope, thought not.
What Have We Just Witnessed?
Since we’re coming close to the end of this list of how all human beings are essentially a law unto themselves, let’s start this one on a positive note. Full marks go to this young guy for having a curious nature. He had the gall to try and find out what was in a tree hole. Kudos. Perhaps he’s an outdoor lover who’s inquisitive about the natural world in all its wonder?
Or there is another explanation we’re itching to put into writing but are holding back out of politeness. That said, one thing remains: that's gotta hurt - there are SO many needles in his forehead!
A Bridge Too Far?
We had a little dig around the wonder that is Google, and yes, these bridges are a thing. They are wildlife bridges built to try and stop animals from getting killed when they cross freeways. In the US alone, the lives of 21 endangered and threatened species are threatened due to road mortalities. While in Utah, according to National Geographic, within just two years, 98 deer, three moose, two elk, a cougar, and many raccoons were killed in collisions with cars.
Who knew? Anyhow, we think whoever’s all het up about this great idea has somehow missed the point here and not really engaged their brain before sharing their wisdom with the world, don’t you?
It’s the Donald Trump Fan Club!
This is genius. Or rather, it really isn’t. Do you remember back at the height of Covid-19 when our ex-President suggested that injecting ourselves with bleach was the way forward if we wanted to cure ourselves of the worst worldwide pandemic since the Spanish Flu? Here is someone who actually believed him. Not just that. Someone responded to this person’s Facebook post stating this as a preference over a vaccine.
You couldn’t make this up if you tried. No matter what each of us thinks about vaccines, and we’re not here to debate that particular thorny subject, we just think, bleach? Really?
Proof Having an iPhone Doesn’t Make You Smart
If anyone needs proof that not all of us are blessed with the same capacity for reason as each other, it’s right here in front of us. The owner of this iPhone was evidently born after the internet was invented. Wow. This means they never knew a world where people played music in their car by putting CDs and tapes into a slot and when the Amazon was just a very long river.
It was also a time when web design meant spiders weaving threads to catch their prey, and books were the paper version of Google. The latter is something this guy could have used to work this problem out.
Scammers Are Getting Lazy
There are so many scams out there, so much so that it's hard keeping on top of them all to avoid being taken for a ride. But, here's a lazy scammer who couldn’t be bothered to hide that they’d sent the same sketchy message to 18 other people. Alternatively, it’s a trainee scammer still at Fraud School. But, judging by this feeble attempt to swindle money from people’s PayPal accounts, we think they have a lot to learn.
We’re imagining their swindle teacher giving this attempt the big old red pen treatment. Perhaps they were sent to the back of the class to have another go? We hope not.
It May Look Like Chocolate...
It may look like chocolate, but it definitely doesn’t taste like chocolate. Unfortunately, this person found to their cost when he mistakenly ate it thinking it was just, as they described, a s**t snack. Although, to be fair, this pink and brown pair of wax melts look remarkably like milk chocolate and strawberry flavored chocolate. Otherwise, why bite into them? Unless this guy has a wax fetish we don’t know about or no sense of smell?
Or perhaps they've had a really hard day's work, there was a cup of tea in front of him, and he was ravenous, so it just made sense, right? No.