This article was originally published on BrideWired
Picking The Wrong Maid of Honor
We can't help but feel sorry for this poor bride. Her main regret was picking a maid of honor based on a promise she and her childhood friend had made to each other. They had both said they would be each other's maid of honor. Sadly, she made the wrong choice. Her maid of honor didn't help with any of the wedding tasks - she didn't even plan a bachelorette party!
But, the clincher was that the maid of honor decided to go and have lunch somewhere else - without telling anyone on the actual wedding day! It just goes to show the importance of picking the right people for your wedding party.
Upholding Weird Traditions
People have been getting married for literally thousands of years, so it's no wonder these ceremonies come with weird and wacky traditions. One such ritual that many couples still practice today is not seeing each other the day before the wedding for fear of prompting lousy luck. This bride regretted sticking to the convention, saying: 'I wish I hadn't done the 'don't see the bride before the wedding thing.' I needed my husband for comfort that day and didn't get it.'
If something doesn't feel right, don't do it. You want the entire 'wedding experience' to be a happy one, so don't let archaic traditions get in the way of that!
Not Having a Second Photographer
Wedding photography can get really expensive, so it's not uncommon for couples to scrimp on this aspect of their special day. However, not having a second photographer is something this bride regrets. She says; 'I regret not splurging on a second photographer. I wish we could see what the groom and company were doing while we girls got our hair and makeup done.' You know the kind of shots - putting on the tie, cufflinks, buttonholes, etc.
After all, it's nice to get snaps of the whole day from beginning to end. So, if you're planning your wedding, this might be something worth considering if you haven't already.
Don't Forget to Eat!
They say that your wedding day goes so quickly that you'll be lucky to eat a slice of your own wedding cake. Or, in this case, anything at all, by the sounds of things! This bride's main regret was that she didn't get the chance to eat enough. So much so that at the end of the wedding day her and new husband headed straight to Walmart to buy some TV dinners!
Although this makes for a great story to tell at dinner parties - we recommend you and your fiance make time to enjoy the food you've painstakingly picked and paid for!
Wearing White
Do you hate how you look in white? If you fall into this camp, you may be able to relate to this bride's regret: wearing white. After donning a traditional wedding dress on her big day, this bride regretted going the traditional route of a big white dress instead of a more comfortable purple dress. Tradition is tradition, but some people just don't like to wear white, and she is one of them.
It's your day. You want to be comfortable and enjoy every second of it. If that means saying 'screw convention', then so be it - including saying goodbye to the white dress!
Inviting People to Your Wedding That You Don’t Want There
Inviting people to your wedding that you don’t want there must be the number one regret most brides have. You probably even know a couple who have complained about precisely this. This bride regretted inviting people to her wedding just so that she didn't offend them, only to have them show exactly why she didn't want to invite them in the first place. We think there's a lesson to be learned here...
If you don't want someone at your wedding, don't invite them. Period. Will they be in your life a few years down the line? If not, then definitely don't give it a second thought!
Having Unrealistic Expectations
There is so much pressure surrounding your wedding day, and as a result, unrealistic expectations for your wedding day can make you feel a tad deflated after the event. Everyone says that it's the best and happiest day of your life - but what if it isn't? When this bride was asked what her biggest wedding day regret was, she said: 'expecting it to be the best day of my life.
It wasn't, and that's OK. If my husband and I hadn't experienced a better day since that, that would suck.' There's something to be said for that - it would be pretty depressing to think that you wouldn't have a better day after your wedding!
Not Wearing Glasses
As we see time and again throughout this list of regrets, comfort on your wedding day is vital! On this subject, this bride regrets not wearing her glasses. She says that she always wears her glasses, but she opted for contact lenses on her special day. Unfortunately, she found them uncomfortable, and they gave her a migraine. Needless to say, this is the last thing anyone wants on their wedding day!
Her regret was made all the more prevalent when she reflected on the fact her husband likes her glasses! Sometimes this age-old adage applies: 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it.'
Picking The Wrong Bridal Party
You hear about horror stories where people, for whatever reason, are no longer on speaking terms with their wedding party. Sadly, this seems to be the case for this bride and her maid of honor - and for a good reason. Apparently, this maid of honor tried to pick fights with the bride and groom on their wedding day! But, arguably worst, she told the bride she looked fat before she walked out for the first dance!
As a result of this bride's ordeal, she has some sage advice for brides to be: 'either don't have bridesmaids at all or pick people who are truly supportive of you'
Hiring Friends
People always say never work with friends and relatives - and this applies to hiring wedding vendors too! This bride learned this lesson the hard way. She genuinely believed that her friends were professionals and wouldn't let her down. But, apparently, the wedding vendors she had problems with were her friends! Needless to say, this lends itself to tricky situations - especially considering that she had to confront them after the wedding.
In fact, she even had to ask for a refund from one of her friends - yikes! That couldn't have been an easy conversation; we can only imagine how awkward that would have been.
Pick a Generous Dress Size
We often try to morphe ourselves into the smallest dress size possible. But, this isn't always the best way to go - especially on your wedding day. This bride's dress was so tight she couldn't enjoy the food she spent her hard earned money on at her own wedding! Couples spend so much money on wedding catering - it seems such a shame not to be able to enjoy the food!
Perhaps going for a slightly more comfortable dress with a little more give, might be the better way to go? After all, you want to enjoy every minute of your day!
Not Picking The Right Dress
At the risk of sounding cliche, every bride's dream is to feel beautiful on their wedding day. So, it's heartbreaking that this bride regretted that she succumbed to wearing a princess dress that she didn't feel her best in. This bride regretted buying the dress she was pressured into getting instead of one that she was more comfortable in, and was more her personal style. The princess look isn't for everyone!
The moral of the story: when planning your wedding day, you'll have opinions thrown at you left, right, and center. But, if the advice isn't welcome, politely put it to the side and stick to your guns. After all, it's your day!
Too Much DIY
With Pinterest, crafting blogs, and YouTube videos aplenty, DIY weddings are becoming increasingly common. It's fun to add a few personal touches to your special day yourself. However, this bride regrets DIYing so much! After spending all this time making things herself, this bride said she regretted having to stay after the reception and clean up (wearing her fancy wedding dress!) instead of spending time with her new husband.
If DIY is the way you want to go, perhaps consider getting a team of friends and family together to help clear up the aftermath? People are usually willing to help make your special day go smoothly!
Not Having an Engagement Shoot
If you're looking to save money on your wedding, you and your finance may opt out of the engagement shoot. After all, not all couples go for it. However, this bride regretted this decision. It seems like the groom was a tad camera shy and didn't feel very comfortable taking snaps on their wedding day. The bride seems to think that using the engagement shoot as a practice run might have helped.
So, there you have it. Perhaps opting for a couples shoot before your wedding might be the best way to go. Not only that, but it sounds like a fun way to celebrate your engagement, too -win-win!
Take Dance Classes
For some, the thought of taking dance classes to prepare for your first dance might sound a tad cringe or over the top. But, if like this bride, you think that you and/or your finance will feel awkward stepping out on the dance floor, a dance class or two could be the solution. She says that they both felt so self-conscious that they couldn't even finish the song! This is a surprisingly common regret.
If you can't afford dance lessons, perhaps try practicing with your partner in the comfort of your living room? That way, your first attempt won't be at your wedding reception!
Don't Impulse Buy
Shopping for your wedding is so exciting - everything is so delicate and beautiful. So, it's easy to get swept away in the moment and just go with the first thing you stumble upon. However, this is something this bride advises against. She wishes she had shopped around more instead of leaning into her excitement and impulse buying. If you have something specific in mind, hold out until you find it.
Then at least you can compare all your options. That way, you'll look back on your wedding day with zero regrets, knowing that you had everything you wanted down to a tee.
Going on Honeymoon Straight Away
So much happens in the days leading up to your wedding, then you have your special day, and then there's the honeymoon. It's a lot to take in. So it's no wonder this bride regretted not leaving a day between her wedding day and leaving for her honeymoon. This bride said they left at 4 am to catch their flight. Essentially, that must have been just a few hours after their wedding reception!
The couple must have been exhausted! So it's no wonder that, in hindsight, they wish they had given themselves more time between the wedding day and leaving for the honeymoon.
Not Having a Veil
This bride regrets not wearing a veil; 'I wish I'd worn a veil. I was young, and I wanted to ditch at least one tradition, but now I see how beautiful a veil would have looked.' But, of course, veils aren't for everyone. But, while you're trying on dresses, there's no harm in trying all your options - including veils and tiaras. That way, you can assess which bridal accessories complement your outfit best.
There are some beautiful veils out there, ones with stunning lace and detailing on them. Or, there are plainer, more traditional ones. Try them all! Even if you don't get one, it's great fun to try!
People Will Drop Out
This regret is a tricky one; 'I wish I'd anticipated that people would just not show up or cancel at the last minute. At $60 a plate, we lost hundreds of dollars because so many people didn't show up.' Sadly it's not uncommon for a few guests to let you down - sometimes it's unavoidable: family emergencies, freak weather conditions, unexpected illness. However, it's near-on impossible to account for this when budgeting your catering.
Our only advice would be to shop around for caterers and see whether any of them offer flexible options that take into account this problem? Who knows? After all, if you don't ask, you don't get it!
Not Picking The Right Wedding Photographer
Not picking the right wedding photographer can lead to huge regrets - as this couple found out the hard way. This bride said that she found their photographer on Craigslist, and they went with her because she had a great portfolio and they were on a budget. But, sadly, the photos she took were horrible! The formal wedding snaps were taken so far away that they could barely zoom in enough to frame them.
Apparently, the photographer didn't understand light, and half of every photo was of the ceiling! As a result, this is what the bride had to say: 'we regret not splurging on one of the things that actually last past the wedding day.'
Drinking Too Much
It is easy for the happy couple to overindulge in the booze during the wedding reception. After all, pretty much everyone wants to buy you a drink to toast your special day. But, some couples regret drinking too much. One bride said: 'my husband and I spent our first night as a married couple on the hotel bathroom floor, sharing the toilet.' We're sure it wasn't the romantic wedding night they had imagined!
This would be all the more regretful if you had to leave for your honeymoon the next day. After all, no one wants to travel with a killer hangover. Ouch!
Not Considering the Weather When Doing Your Hair
Unfortunately, this bride didn't consider the weather when picking her hairstyle. We're surprised we don't hear more people talking about this - humidity and rain can both wreak havoc on hairdos. This is what she had to say about her regret: 'I wish I had chosen my wedding hairstyle according to the weather - not the cut of the dress, the shape of my face, or anything in any of the articles online.
I was married outside on a foggy, cold day, and while I walked out of the bridal suite with beautiful, polished boho waves, I looked like a wet dog 30 minutes later.'
Limiting The Booze
It is not uncommon for a few wedding guests to have one drink too many and throw some serious shapes on the dancefloor. However, things get a little trickier when your wedding party gets absolutely smashed. That is why some brides wish they had limited their wedding party to a specific number of drinks. This particular bride suggests sticking to just 'two glasses of champagne and no hard liquor.' Sensible, right?
Apparently, this bride's maid of honor was drunk at the ceremony and plastered by the reception. As a result, the bride was worrying about her maid of honor all day, rather than focusing on herself and her new husband.
Not Having The Photo Booth In The Reception Room
If you want to make sure people stay on the dance floor, and you're having a photo booth, ensure it's situated in the reception room. This bride said that: 'Ours was in the hall outside the room, so everyone lined up for the booth, leaving hardly anyone on the dancefloor! If it had been in the room, people would have been able to see when it was available from the dance floor.'
When picking wedding venues, be sure to put this on your list of things to consider. Make sure there's enough space to have your photo booth where the action is!
Opting for Cliches
There's nothing wrong with participating in wedding cliches if you know you and your husband will enjoy them and won't regret it later. However, when it comes to the corny 'smush the wedding cake into each other's faces' shot, it's not uncommon for couples to have mixed feelings. For instance, this bride said: 'I wish we hadn't done the stupid cake-face-smash thing to each other. In the moment it was fun...
But pretty much the next day, I already wished we hadn't. Urgh at us.' So, with that in mind, carefully consider whether you want to participate in certain wedding traditions!
Never Assume
When it comes to sourcing vendors for your wedding - never assume anything. For example, you might think that having the church organist play on your special day would be a safe bet. However, this isn't always the case, which this bride later came to regret. This is what she had to say: 'I assumed the church organist knew how to play without hearing her first. I was so wrong.'
'There were so many wrong notes played that I clench my teeth whenever I watch the video.' Ouch! It just goes to show that you can't take anything for granted!
Having a Huge Wedding
Planning a wedding takes time, stress, and in many cases, a lot of money. If you're not 100% set on having a huge wedding, then the drawbacks of throwing such an event may outweigh the upsides - which is precisely how this bride felt after her wedding. 'I wish I didn't have a wedding. Don't get me wrong; I don't regret getting married - I just regret the wedding because it wasn't what we wanted.'
'We spent all this money to throw a wedding for everyone else, and I wish we had just eloped like we wanted to.' Eloping can be so romantic - so don't let pressures from others stop you from doing that!
Not Staying With Your Husband The Night Before
It is tradition for the bride and the groom not to see each other the night before the wedding for fear of it being 'bad luck.' But, many couples come to regret going along with this tradition. One bride said: 'I regret staying in a separate place from my husband the night before our wedding. We had already been living together for three years, and being apart created so much unnecessary anxiety.'
Weddings are beautiful, happy occasions. But, they can also be stressful and anxiety-inducing. So be sure to think ahead and do what you need to do to go into your special day in the best headspace possible.
Not Being In The Moment
There's so much going on during your wedding day, that many couples describe it as a bit of a blur. So many brides say they wish they had made a more conscious effort to take the time to enjoy their day. Don't have the same regrets as this bride. She said that she so was so preoccupied with making sure everything turned out exactly as she envisioned that she barely got to touch her dinner.
She also said she missed out on talking to her guests and didn't even get to try her cake until the next day! What a shame, we hope someone wrapped the cake to keep it fresh for her!
Not Being Yourself
Brides are often pressured to look a certain way on their wedding day. Often friends and family members mean well with their advice, but it can sometimes result in brides doing things they're not 100% happy with. For example, this bride said: 'I wish I hadn't let my Mom talk me into having my hair styled and curled differently than I usually wear it - I don't even recognize myself in the pictures.'
Every bride wants to feel confident and beautiful on their wedding day - and having your hair in a style you're comfortable with is a huge part of that! To avoid regrets, be sure to have a few hair trials before your wedding day.
Not Having Your Wedding In The Morning
The time frame where you'll have natural light to shoot wedding photos fluctuates depending on the time of year. You may have some leeway here if you're having a summer wedding. But, winter weddings, where the days are shorter, can pose a logistical nightmare. As demonstrated by this bride who said that her biggest regret was: 'Not having the ceremony in the morning. We rushed through photos because were losing natural light.'
This is why having a discussion with your wedding photographer prior to your wedding to work out a rough timeline of your day is so important. This should cut down on some of this stress!
Spending Too Much Time on The Dance Floor
If you are worried you're not going to enjoy yourself at your reception and spend any time on the dancefloor, apparently you can actually go too much the other way. This bride said that she regretted spending too much time dancing, and not circulating with guests and taking pictures. She said she didn't even get to use their photo booth. It just goes to show how quickly your wedding day flies by!
However, we have to say - can you really spend too much time dancing? To us, this sounds like the perfect way to spend your wedding reception! But, if this is something you think you might regret, perhaps try stepping away from the dance floor every hour or so?
Inviting Irrelevant People
We bet many couples can relate to this regret: 'We were compelled to invite a lot of people to the wedding we weren't close to. If I could do the wedding over, there would only be people celebrating with us who were truly part of the journey for my husband and me.' Whether it's pressure from parents, friends asking for random plus ones, or demands from other family members, it's easy to invite the world and his wife to your special day.
The pressure can be felt all the more if family members are helping to pay for your wedding. But sometimes, you need to know where to draw your line in the sand!
Don't Sweat The Small Stuff
Wedding days comprise tons of tiny moments, several vendors, lots of guests, and heaps of expectations. With so many moving pieces, it's near-on inevitable that something will go wrong! So it's no wonder this bride said: 'I wish we hadn't worried so much about the little things.' She reflects on the fact that what's really important is that she and her husband were getting married and starting a family together.
With so many wedding preparations, it's easy to lose sight of that! So, if (more likely when) things go wrong, shrug it off - in the long run, it probably won't matter!
Not Having a Receiving Line
Although some consider receiving lines a tad old-fashioned, they come with their perks. Not least because they're one of the easiest ways to ensure you've managed to say hello to all your guests. Couples often feel like they have to run around greeting all their friends and family, which can eat into a considerable chunk of their day. That's why this bride said: 'I wish we had a receiving line after the ceremony.'
'We ended up spending so much of our reception greeting people instead of doing what we really wanted.' After all, you want to focus on spending time with your spouse rather than pleasing everyone else!
Not Hiring a Videographer
If you're on a budget, you might be tempted to skip out on the videographer and focus on your photographer. This is what this bride did, but unfortunately, she later came to regret this decision: 'I regretted not hiring a professional videographer. Many amazing moments were frozen in pictures, no moving images' Being able to sit around the front room with your future children, friends, and family to re-live your special day is a lovely thought.
If you can't afford a videographer, perhaps ask a few members of your wedding party to take videos on their phones. That way, you'll still get footage of some of the day's highlights.
Not Relaxing
This regret seems to be a common theme in this list; 'I regret spending so much time worrying about the little details. I wish I had relaxed and enjoyed my wedding.' In the lead-up to your wedding, there seems like a million and one things that need doing- sorting out final details with vendors, dressing the venue, spending time with guests coming into town - to name just a few!
But, by the time it comes to your actual wedding day - it's time to put those worries aside and just enjoy your special day. After all, that's what's most important!
Getting Drunk
When nerves are high, and you're trying to relax and enjoy yourself, you can see how easy it would be to drink too much while getting ready for your special day. Yes, a glass of champers while you're getting ready, is a fun tradition - but some brides regret taking things too far. This lady said: 'I and my bridesmaids had a lot to drink when we were making our hair.'
'Spent the whole wedding day drunk.' Oops! If you're planning on toasting your upcoming nuptials while getting ready with your girlfriends, perhaps have a bigger breakfast first? That might help to soak up some of the alcohol!
Not Toasting Your Parents
No one likes to sit and listen to long, drawn-out speeches. But, most couples want to take a few seconds to thank the friends and family members who have made an extra effort to make their wedding day so special. Usually, (of course, not always) parents fall into that category. This is likely why this bride regrets not toasting her and her husband's parents. This is what she had to say:
'In retrospect, I wish my bridegroom, and I had toasted our parents at our wedding.' If you're worried about not thanking everyone, you should perhaps write a quick list beforehand?
Leaving for Honeymoon The Morning After
As joyous and beautiful as weddings are, they're exhausting physically and emotionally. So it's no wonder so many couples regret departing for their honeymoon the morning after their wedding. Depending on when your wedding reception ends, you could leave for the airport within hours of leaving the venue! This is what this bride said on the subject: 'Instead of leaving for our honeymoon the morning after the wedding, we would have waited a day to take off.'
'I was exhausted and hungover the first day.' We're not surprised to hear that. We bet a lot of black coffee was consumed during the journey to their honeymoon destination!