This article was originally published on ParentMood
Before And After
Most of the photos on this list don't include an "after" photo. However, we thought we'd kick things off right and give you something to think about. We're not really sure what you should be thinking about because this photo is just really puzzling when it didn't have to be. For example, was this photoshopped to make the second picture look like an "after" photo? If so, why? Also, we're definitely no experts but that looks like a sketchy way to hold a baby.
If it weren't actually for the "after" photo, then this would look like a pretty normal maternity photo.
Where's Mom?
Most of the photos on this list beg the question: why? However, at least with most of the other photos, we can at least make educated guesses as to why. This photo, however, has us stumped. Was it meant to be funny? Clever? Surprising? We just don't know. But we do know that it turned out a bit cringey. There's just something about seeing a man's head on a pregnant woman's body.
It's kind of like seeing your uncle Dan and his beer belly, but if your uncle Dan was dressed up in women's clothing and weirdly peeking at you from behind a tree. That said, at least the father in the photo looks like he's really getting into it. That's the kind of enthusiasm you need as a parent.
Careful With That Bat, Dad
Okay, we're sorry for the title on this one, but seriously someone did not think this photo through. It's kind of the same as painting a target on someone and then holding a gun right next to them. The implication is pretty obvious. We mean baseball is all about swinging the bat as hard as you can to hit the baseball. However, there are a couple of other explanations that make sense and are much more lighthearted.
Maybe they were just trying to say that old Billy here hit a home run in choosing the mom-to-be, or maybe they were trying to say that he made it all the way to home base? We'll let you decide because the baseball metaphors could keep us here all day.
Just an Expectant Mom and Her Goat Out for a Stroll
It might come as a surprise to some, but taking pregnancy photos with goats isn't all that uncommon. We had to look it up but apparently, there are a couple of Pinterest boards dedicated to photoshoot ideas with goats. That doesn't exactly make this any less weird though, and it leaves us asking, why? We get the whole country vibe thing they were going for in this photo, but does it really require a goat?
Also, why is the goat dressed up in a nearly identical outfit to the mom-to-be? If you're really interested in this idea, there are also a couple of videos on Youtube of goat-themed maternity shoots and if we're being entirely honest some of them aren't half bad.
And He Scores
We've certainly seen a couple of sports-themed maternity shoots in our time. However, we've never seen one quite like this in which the dad looks like he's about to throw the mom's pregnant belly through a basketball hoop. We get that a woman's stomach kind of takes the same shape as a basketball whenever they become pregnant but what would make you want to throw it through a hoop? We suppose it's just a fun way to celebrate pregnancy.
Perhaps mom and dad were just really big basketball fans and wanted everyone else to know whenever they took these photos. And if they didn't know before, they certainly do now.
Tastes Like Carrots
As far as some of the photos on this list go, this one isn't really as cringey as some of the others. However, we still have to wonder what the point of the horse is. Still, it's better than some of the other animal-themed maternity photos on this list. And maybe the mom-to-be was just really into riding horses and wanted her friend here to feature in the maternity shoot.
It would've been much weirder if the mom-to-be just used the horse as a prop or something. This way is actually kind of touching if the two do know each other.
We'd Rather Watch From The Waiting Room
While this photo certainly is cringey, it's kind of wholesome that the whole family came together for the maternity shoot. It's not what we would've gone with but to each their own. Seriously though, we can't figure out what's better here, mom in an NFL linebacker position, or the faces on dad and sis. Surely they had to be wondering what they were doing while they were down there?
The little girl looks more confused than anyone else and she isn't even really looking in the right place. It's like the photographer just told them to make their best "eww" face. It ended up paying off.
Insane Clown Posse For Life
Being a Juggalo takes dedication, but we weren't aware that it actually plays this much of a role in people's lives. This woman decided to have a rendition of her baby in Juggalo-styled face paint drawn on her stomach. Just imagine the questions that are going to run through this kid's head one day when he looks back on his maternity photos and sees himself dressed up like he's about to go to an Insane Clown Posse concert.
In case you need some background on all of this, a "Juggalo" is a die-hard fan of the hip-hop group Insane Clown Posse. They usually identify by painting their faces as clowns, if you haven't figured out that part just yet.
Fill Her Up
There are a lot of photos on this list with people sticking stuff in belly buttons, but this is probably among the weirdest. At first, we thought the father in this photo was holding a gas pump, but it turns out to be an air hose as if he's blowing up his wife's stomach. We guess we can't blame the photographer here for not being creative - because creative it is.
It's more creative than just having the father act like he's throwing his wife's pregnant belly into a basketball hoop or about to hit it out of the park with a baseball bat.
In Case You Didn't See The Ultrasound
This couple decided to take their maternity shoot to the next level and incorporate a piece of art into it. Or, at least a quickly drawn sketch. Of course, doctors can perform ultrasounds but this is just in case you wanted an artist's interpretation of what a baby looks like inside the womb. And if you didn't want that well too bad, because now you have one. Another recurring theme you'll see throughout this list is dad with his shirt off.
We're not sure why, but this is a really big thing when it comes to maternity photos for some reason. It probably has something to do with wanting to make the shots more intimate.
When You And Your Partner Are Truly One
This might just be one of the most baffling photos on this list. For some reason, the father in this photo is the one whose pregnant while his partner looks like she's consoling him. It makes you wonder what the photographer was going for in this shot. It's certainly imaginative but it'd be fun to know just what the scene was supposed to convey to whoever ended up seeing it.
We're guessing that whatever the photographer was trying to convey, it has something to do with maternity exercises, considering the exercise ball in the photo, but we'll let you be the judge of that.
We Can Already See the Resemblance
The award for most cringey stomach art might just go to this photo. This mom-to-be had a fully grown man painted on her belly because we're guessing they're expecting the baby to look like dad? Even so, it's kind of odd seeing a painting of a man oiled up and curled into a fetal position. It also kind of looks like the man is sucking their thumb or is it an umbilical cord? We can't quite tell.
Aside from that, the painting might be one of the most detailed on this list. We're not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's something we suppose.
Robin Hood And His Merry Band
No, this isn't a photo from Disney's live-action Robin Hood. It's actually a maternity photo taken at what looks to be a Reinassance fair. If not a Reinassance fair, then this photographer just had some really random costumes lying around and wanted to break them out the first chance they got. Someone was even nice enough to overlay the photo with the words "proof", as if anyone would ever forget this was taken.
Luckily, we don't think anyone's going to be forgetting that this photo was taken anytime soon, least of all the mom and dad. Hopefully, they're getting as much of a laugh out of it as whoever saw fit to use it as proof.
Thanks For The Explanation, Pals in the Back
This one is actually funnier than it is cringey, but it basically shows two dogs getting down in the background while this couple has their maternity shoot. And it's a shame too, because if these dogs weren't there this would probably be the best photo on this list, (or the most normal). However, we're kind of glad these two dogs showed up. If they hadn't, how would anybody who saw this photo know how babies were made?
It's as if the two dogs took it upon themselves to give everyone a firsthand demonstration. Apparently, the couple enjoyed this version of the photo better too because they ended up going with this one.
Even the Father Can't Hold His Laughter
Remember when maternity shoots were all about the baby? We remember the good old days. Apparently, the father in this photo remembers too, because he looks like he can barely hold in his laughter at whatever pose he's been told to strike here. For some reason, he's holding up the peace sign next to his partner's belly button as if he's about to peace out right after this photo shoot.
We hope not, but if he was made to do this then just think what else is in store for him after the baby is born. Also, belly buttons are really weird.
Bunny Baby
No, this isn't an ad for a 90s-era toy. It's actually a maternity photo but you'd be forgiven for thinking this was some kind of advertisement. The photographer here almost certainly took some inspiration from those old ads because we're more focused on the bunny costume than we are on the mom-to-be and her baby bump. If we didn't know any better we'd think we were being sold a costume of some sort.
It's definitely cringey now, but this photo was probably either taken in the 1990s or the 2000s, when this photo would have made a (bit) more sense to people when they saw it.
When Your Profession Is Picked Out For You Before Birth
Working in a family-owned business is never easy, not even for employees who aren't family members. So, it's nice to see a family that seems to have it all worked out, even if that profession is Lucha libra — or Mexican-style wrestling. Jokes aside, this photo might look like a bit much but honestly, these costumes are better than most of the other ones on this list.
At least these have some kind of basis in culture and the dad isn't dressed up like he's a dancer in a music video for some odd reason.
No Secrets In This Family
This photo doesn't really need much commentary but we're going to do our best anyway. We're sure that someone (probably granny) had a few questions when they laid eyes on this spicy maternity photo. There's certainly nothing wrong if you get down like this, but we're not so sure that the rest of the family was super curious about this couple's... preferences. Regardless, you can't say that these two aren't confident.
It takes some serious confidence to send photos like this to friends and family, especially when they were probably expecting something else before they saw the pregnancy photos.
We're Not Even Sure What the Theme Is Here
Full disclosure, we're not exactly sure if this mom-to-be is wearing a magician's outfit or something else, but that's probably one of the problems with this costume. It's just hard to tell exactly what it's supposed to be. Dad also isn't helping since he looks like he's just dressed in his normal everyday clothes. That kind of leaves you wondering why he isn't dressed up like his partner.
Did he just flat out refuse to get dressed up? If so, he's one of the few on this list who decided he wasn't putting on a costume and stuck to it.
A Pocket For The Baby
A lot of stomach paintings on this list have been in the form of sports balls for whatever reason, so it's kind of nice to see something else for a change. This mom-to-be had a cartoon baby drawn peeking out of what looks like a pair of denim. However, the teeth on the zipper actually make for an image that's a bit scarier than this couple probably would've liked.
It's also kind of hard to tell that the baby is peeking out from a pair of denim. Still, they at least get points for creativity if nothing else.
How to Make Your Baby Daddy Look Like a Creepy Stalker
Obviously, a maternity shoot is supposed to be about the baby and the mom. However, if you are going to include the father, then maybe make sure to actually include them. Otherwise, they end up looking like some random bystander that just happened to wander into the frame. The poor dad in this photo wasn't only basically left out, but the photo blur makes it so you can't even see their face clearly.
If it weren't for that, then this might be one of the best maternity photos on this list. They already have the charming field full of flowers and normal-looking outfits covered.
Need Some Roadside Assistance, Miss?
Someone in this photo has a AAA fantasy and we're not sure who. Either that or the tire is a reference to where these two met. Either way, it's just a weird prop to have in a photoshoot, much less a pregnancy photoshoot. However, that could just be us, and if it is a reference to where the two met then perhaps they just thought it'd be romantic to include.
Still, it probably would've been better to include something a bit more traditional, like a car or maybe someone dressed up as a mechanic. Actually, a mechanic probably would've been just as cringey. Still, if the tire is a reference to where these two met then it's kind of romantic.
Like A Bird Stuck in Plastic
Like a lot of the photos on this list, we're not exactly sure what was going on in this one. It appears as if this mom-to-be decided to she wanted to get dressed up and go out and take maternity photos, sure. But we're not sure why she chose to get dressed up in plastic bags. She could be making a statement here: maybe something like pollution and plastic are bad. However, if so then why use all of that plastic in the first place?
A much likelier answer is that maybe the photographer went a little overboard and thought that they were being edgy or something by dressing this woman up in packaging supplies.
Thanks For The Visual Aide
Pretty much everyone you end up sending your maternity photos to is going to be aware of how babies are made. However, if you're ever a bit unsure just do what this woman did and use a visual aid in your photos. Here, we can see the mom-to-be scratching her head as if she's wondering what went wrong and how she ended up in a maternity shoot. We're actually kind of curious in a way we totally wouldn't have been if her visual aid hadn't been in the photo.
Is she scratching her head as if she's wondering if the condom broke? Or is she scratching it as if she's wondering what the condom does in the first place?
Poke Poke
We imagine that poking your pregnant partner in the belly isn't all that uncommon. However, basing your maternity photos off of something like that makes for a pretty cringey photo, as exemplified here. It's not even the act that's super cringey, it's just the fact that this was the best the photographer could think of when they were asked to take maternity photos. Also, it's kind of weird that the father in this photo is poking the mom's belly button and then glaring up.
We don't know, belly buttons are just weird to us and that's probably our fault.
A Hunting Season Baby
Nothing says you're ready to provide for the family quite like bringing a turkey you just shot to the maternity photoshoot. And yes someone had to have just shot this turkey right before the shoot or else they would've already cleaned it. The father probably went hunting that morning and then got back just in time to take some photos, which honestly is pretty impressive. However, it does make us wonder something else.
It's also entirely possible he went hunting in order to avoid having to take maternity photos. If so, he was probably too successful for his own good and managed to still get back in time.
Surprise, Surprise!
This isn't exactly a maternity photo, but it's still pretty close. Instead, it's a photo of a dad watching the birth of his child and it's pretty much exactly what you'd expect. Dad looks like he's just seen a ghost here and we can't blame him. Childbirth is beautiful, but not so much in the traditional sense. More so in the metaphorical sense, which the dad in this photo just learned.
However, the funniest part of this photo might just be the nurse in the background whose facial expression is pretty much the polar opposite of the father's. The nurse is taking it all in like she just realized she left lunch at home.
You Can Tell They Met at a Music Festival
There's no shortage of maternity photos out there in which mom and dad are sitting in a field wearing costumes. For some reason, it just seems to be the thing to do, (at least at the moment). However, we've never seen maternity photos in which the photographer made dad dress up like he's a Chippendale dancer. This photo certainly sets itself apart from all the other pregnancy pictures we've seen taken in random fields.
We still have to wonder what was going through dad's head when the photographer handed him the suspenders and seemingly nothing else and told him to get ready. If that doesn't prove that he's truly in love then we don't know what would.
Freeze, Well-Wishers!
This photo is probably what Europeans think of when they think of the U.S. Like, why is this guy holding a gun during a maternity shoot? We're not being political here either. You don't have to be anti-gun to think that this photo might be going a little bit overboard. He's pointing it directly at the photographer's face for no apparent reason. Is he trying to intimidate the friends and family these maternity photos were sent to?
If so, then that's a pretty weird family dynamic. Why not just skip sending the photos to the family members you don't like? Better yet, just save the gun for the birthday cards.
When You're Not Quite Ready
Out of all the moms-to-be on this list, we probably feel the worst for this one. The poor girl definitely wasn't ready for this photo to be taken. It looks like she was only walking out to get her family's opinion on her dress when someone suddenly took a photo. Her face even has that "what the hell are you doing?" look on it like. It's just not a fair shot of the mom-to-be and her beautiful dress.
It's a shame too because while this dress doesn't exactly look super great in this dark room, we're sure a good photographer could've made it look much better out in the sunlight.
Smile For The Camera
If you've ever wondered what a baby sees when they first come into the world, then the answer is nothing. Babies' are actually blind when they're first born. However, if they could see then it might look something like this. Only, everyone would be staring at the baby instead of looking like they're smiling for a routine family portrait. The only person in this photo who's actually paying attention to what's going on is the dad.
Even the doctor is looking away and smiling for the camera, which is not something you really want when you're in the middle of giving birth to a baby.
Pump Faster, Dad!
If you don't get that a pregnant women's stomach looks like a sports ball by this point, then you weren't paying attention. Instead of painting mom's belly, the couple in this photo decided to incorporate an air pump. And someone's really getting into it. The mom's face in this photo is pretty convincing, but the dad's facial expression is just taking things to another level. He looks so happy on that air pump.
Honestly, this photo reminds us of some of the gender reveals we've seen in recent years for some reason. Maybe it's the enthusiasm on the two parent's faces.
It's Alive!
This is hands down the creepiest photo on this list. We're not sure if the mom-to-be planned for this cake to come out looking like a scene from Alien or if she had something else in mind, but it's definitely the stuff of nightmares. The look on whoever went to pick this cake up from the bakery was probably priceless. But that does bring up one other question. How in the world did the baker get this cake to look so life-like?
It's really a work of art. A terrifying work of art, but a work of art nonetheless. Just imagine what they could've created had they actually tried to make something that looked a bit less scary and a bit more celebratory.
Just Like the Cover of an Adult Romance Novel
Being able to ride horses is one of those skills that will serve you a lifetime, even whenever you're getting ready to take maternity photos. Take this mom-to-be for example. She decided to put her equestrian skills to good use and pose for the camera while doing what she loves. However, there is one thing that's a little odd in this photo, and if you were to just quickly glance you might miss it.
The tail of this woman's dress is extended way out of frame as if she were galloping ahead at full speed. Obviously, that's not what's happening in this photo so it makes it a bit perplexing.
Always Take Your Plastic With You
There is one other photo on this list featuring an outfit made out of plastic, but this might just be our favorite. At least in this photo, you can decipher a clear(ish) message. And that message is to clean up the rivers. Or that's what we got from this photo. Why else would the mom here be wearing a plastic outfit and wading out into a river? It's the only logical answer.
We're not exactly sure why someone would choose their maternity shoot to try and send a message like that, but we suppose you should always have the fight against pollution on your mind.
Flex For The Camera
Nothing says the early 90s quite like this photo and the pose dad is making. This whole scene makes us think that the theme was related to the beach or swimming but it's hard to be sure. It's entirely possible that the photographer didn't even ask the dad to pose like that and the only reason he's flexing is that he wanted to show off those guns. We can't blame him, he probably hit the gym hard before this shoot.
On the other hand, the mom in this photo looks completely normal. She's just sitting there chilling. She probably doesn't even know her partner is in the background posing as if he's in the middle of a competition.
Happy Halloween!
To be fair, this photo is actually kind of wholesome. Sure, you could see the cringe in it, but at least there aren't any weird costumes or shots of dad in the background where he looks like he's a random person watching from the woods. Also, it was probably either close to Halloween or that's when their baby was due whenever this couple took this photo. Also, they get bonus points for drawing something besides a baseball or basketball.
In addition, this photo was probably taken in the early or mid-2000s during a time when maternity photos were a bit different than they are today.
Bottoms Up
We're not exactly sure why the mom and dad decided to pose with bottles of alcohol, but we are sure this one (hopefully) isn't as bad as it looks. Hear us out for a second. It actually looks like this couple was going for something along the lines of making fun of the fact that the mom can't drink but the dad can. Otherwise, why would the dad be holding a baby bottle instead of a bottle of liquor?
And we highly doubt that the mom in this photo is actually downing a can of Four Loko or whatever that is, while she's in the middle of a photoshoot. At least, we hope not.
What's Dad Doing Back There?
There's no denying that this photo is cringey. However, at least dad wasn't made to undress like a lot of others on this list. That's probably one of the only things that could've added a bit more cringe to this shot. That said, we're still pretty sure this shot wasn't what these two had in mind whenever they booked their maternity photos. At least, we're sure it wasn't what the dad in this photo had in mind.
But we'll cut them a little bit of slack considering this photo looks like it was taken in the 90s and as we've seen so far, maternity photos from that era were a bit... different than they are now.
Showing It All Off
There's boudoir, and then there's this. This couple was likely going for the former when they signed up to take maternity photos. That's a shame too because we've seen some really great boudoir photography that manages to capture the intimacy between two people. However, it looks like whoever this photographer was, they weren't super experienced in boudoir photography and simply told this couple to pose the same as they would if they were fully clothed.
We're not photographers so we're not exactly experts on the subject, but we imagine that it takes a bit more than that to pull off convincing boudoir photography.